And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
canon jesus is way cooler than fanon jesus
canon jesus was a sassy middle eastern guy who literally said “did i fucking stutter” and hung out with prostitutes
fanon jesus is just some boring white guy who sits around hugging lambs
Just be careful who you say that around. His fandom has literally killed people for disagreeing with their head-canon.